Kanchanaburi, 1987

Choosing silence over a quick exit…from life

I alluded to questions in one of the earlier entries of this blog dealing with Thailand, and of course the initial thoughts about writing a book with the title “20 Questions”. There are naturally other things besides the questions which a first-time visitor to Thailand might have to get used to; there are actually a whole slew of other things that will require time, and in some cases the patience of Job, to adjust to. There are the physical and social things I covered: the shoes and the feet and the food on the floor and the ‘waiing’ and the language and the cheap movies and the even cheaper booze and the work and the time off and the beach and the holding of hands and other forms of physical contact and the hospitality and the ghost stories and the motorcycle drive and the cows, but then there are the things that have a more immediate effect on your life expectancy and your privacy.

After having worked for a little more than a year, I piped up one day about the fact that by raising hands in important shareholders meetings, it would be much too easy to intimidate people into supporting some action or another; instead secret ballots should be cast. I was quietly told just to hold my tongue and not stand in the way – good advice, as subsequently I heard of another person who had raised similar concerns in another region, and he had had to pick up an leave that very hour for his own personal safety. One learns. There have been other times when I opted for a quiet, rather than a dead exit, simply because it seemed more logical and conducive to my health.

Hua Hin beach, 1986

Privacy doesn’t exist!

Then there is the issue of personal space or privacy, something which is not necessarily a concept readily accepted; in many cases and places, everything about you should be an open book for all to read (this last part of the sentence is a bit of an oxymoron). This point was made very clear to me, I mean the privacy bit, when I attended a conference about 6 months after arriving in the country. We were back down on the beach, and we were having a wonderful time. Life was wonderful: sea, sand, sun, a few bottles of beer, good conversation, swimming, etc.

I had gotten up to go to the toilet, leaving my wallet on the table. Mistake.

As I was making my way back to the table, I saw from afar someone rifling through my wallet, taking out my different pieces of ID and other pieces of paper. The group surrounding the person was having a very good laugh over my identification card photograph. It’s not the most flattering photograph of yours truly, a long-haired, lanky 15-year-old at the time.

As I returned to the table, everything was quickly shoved back into the wallet, which was then thrown back down on the table, and no one seemed in the least bit ashamed. I was none too pleased, but was totally shocked when somebody said:

“Get used to it, there’s no such thing as privacy in Thailand, and it won’t be the last time someone goes through your wallet.”

Thanks for the warning. And they were right. Privacy is not a given, and there are plenty of questions that will be posed in many different ways to tease information out of you, so get ready to answer everything, or come up with a good and truly water-tight story.

Ayuthaya, Chaiwattanaram temple ruins

Canada’s in Europe, right?

The questioning can also lead to some hilarious and unexpected results, but as a good visitor, you have of course already learned to smile pleasantly instead of laugh out loudly, because making the other person lose face is a no no. One of the first questions you’re bound to be asked is: “Where did you come from?” In this case the question does not mean where have you just this moment come from, although in the Thai language you might understand that this is what they’re asking, as the question is phrased in exactly the same way. So by answering “Talad” (market), you’re likely not giving the desired answer, even though the answer might buy you a few seconds to come up with a proper answer. A conversation I have often had with many different people in Thailand goes something like this:

“Where did you come from?”

Canada

“Oh, isn’t that in Europe? How far is that from the UK and Germany?

Uh, well, it isn’t exactly ‘in’ Europe, it’s kind of like a little to the west of Europe, like 4,000 miles west of Europe, but it’s still relatively close to the UK and Germany, particularly if you’re comparing distances between Thailand and Europe, and Canada and Europe.

“Right, so you can drive to Germany then? How long does that take?”

Uhm, well, it’s a little bit difficult to drive to Germany from Canada, although I have heard of a company that is planning on building some kind of super tunnel or whatever, but for now I think a plane or a ship would be better, as it would be faster. (ever trying to be diplomatic).

“But don’t you guys always have snow there, and isn’t it always freezing?”

For a moment I thought I was talking to an American, but then I focused again and realized that I was still in Thailand and talking to one of my coworkers.

Well, yes, it does get cold there, sometimes as cold as 40 below, and yes we have snow there, but if you want permafrost and snow all year round you have to go really far to the north. Where I come from, the summer gets pretty hot, and in some places in Canada it gets as hot as it does here, 40 degrees.

“I see. So then, what state do you live in?”

Excuse me? State? No, you have to realize that Canada is like Thailand, it has a prime minister, and we have provinces. We are not a part of that big land mass south of us that has a whole lot of steroid enhanced…

I shouldn’t have said ‘steroids’ because that immediately clicked.

“Oh, you come from the country that had Ben Johnson, right? Ha, ha, you guys lost the gold medal. Ha ha ha!”

Check mate; so much for the politics and geography lesson.