The early years of being in the business…

The ‘Has-Been’ Worry

After a little more than a quarter of a century of parts and roles in different local drama series (somewhere north of 100 or so different series), I look back at all the experiences, and must say that many of them were wonderful – the odd one not so great – and I still enjoy going to the set and donning yet another costume for yet another character. What has gone though, is the stress of not receiving a phone call, a request, or an offer. There was a time when the extra income from the acting certainly helped pay the bills, and occasionally staved off a revolt by employees. That said it doesn’t mean that the income wouldn’t be appreciated now – the more the merrier – but as time progressed, I have taken a more discretionary approach, and gone is the anxiety that I have become a has-been, or too old for any kind of role (considering that I have seen many ‘stars’ zenith after a year in the business, and then disappear forever after their third year, I consider myself lucky, and am thankful to all the producers and companies whom I have had the pleasure of working with).

The greatest anxiety I had was after about 10 years of having worked more or less continuously in some show or another. I had no signed contracts with any channel, and appeared in series on several channels, except for one channel. Although the market segments were somewhat different, there were and are, two main channels in Thailand, each competing for a majority market share. I had played many roles in many series for one of the two, but none for the other, until I was approached with a role I didn’t want to refuse. I took the part, had a great time, and the feedback was great; and then the anxiety set in. Despite the fact that I had no contract, I was beginning to wonder if my swing over to the other station for a part had actually put an end to my career; the original station perhaps upset that I had taken a part with their competitor – but no one was ready to sign a contract, so what was I supposed to do? There were no calls, no offers, no chatter about any potential upcoming work.

Life on set, all went well until… waiting for more work

18 months of waiting, and worrying

For the first few months after the series aired on the other station I was not concerned. I had plenty of work at hand doing other non-acting related projects. But after nine months, I was getting worried. By the 1-year mark I had become a nervous wreck, and by 18 months I had more or less resigned myself to the fact that my television career was over and I was facing the prospect of a slow decline into middle age with no more opportunities to enjoy the fakery and make-belief of the world of entertainment (and this from someone who had never ever dreamed of ending up in the business in the first place). I guarantee you that every single actor and actress who has ever worked for a few years will have experienced exactly the same cycle of going from a well-balanced person to a nervous wreck at some point in their careers. It has nothing to do with being insecure or being a narcissist, but everything to do with being able to do a job that you really enjoy – being found redundant in any career is upsetting and disastrous – and not having a chance to practice your craft is depressing.

Alkoff – the Russian mafia godfather

Reborn

Looking back on that period, perhaps it was all for the better. Eventually a call did come through, with a role that re-ignited my career and took it into a different direction. Prior to this (except for the one or two roles really early on in my career) I had always played the wealthy foreign love interest who was a nice guy. Sweet, gentle, forgettable. I was offered the role of a Russian mafia godfather, let a goatee grow, dyed my hair jet black, and let the professionals do their magic.

The entire show revolved around a ‘special forces’ team established to combat serious crime, and the godfather had come onto their radar. While my soldiers were trafficking drugs and transporting a huge variety of other illegal goods across the globe, I was handing out goodies at kindergartens and grade schools. My gorgeous daughter was my weak point. By trying to protect her I inadvertently created an opportunity for the special forces team to infiltrate my organization. In the guise of a protector and body guard for my daughter, one of the team became indispensable to me. I am sure you can guess the rest of the story. I became suspicious, but of the wrong person; had another member of the special ops team kidnapped and beaten; had the tables turned on myself by a competitor who wanted a share of my market; was beaten up; ordered fantastic raids on warehouses and hideouts of opponents; and all in all was transformed from this very suave, smiling, schemer into a maniacal, manipulative monster.

Back as a bad guy

I was back, and with something I could really get into. I don’t know the ratings of the series, I only know that with the great cast assembled, 5 Khom was a terrific show. The show went over budget, it went over time, but the feedback was good, and the spectacular explosion of a yacht that ended the show left enough of a doubt that there remained a potential for a second season. That second season never materialized, but I had become the favourite bad guy that everyone loved to hate.