Learning Muay Thai – carefully

Impertinent?  Not here.

Quite a few years ago, (about a decade or more) I started putting on paper some of my thoughts about Thailand and my experiences in this country. The experiment at the time was entitled “20 Questions”, as I envisioned some sort of publication with roughly 22 or so chapters. The title also had bearing on something that many people commented on when I first arrived in Thailand in 1986. As a new arrival, you are grilled. And there is no question that is considered invasive or impertinent. For a good and experienced debater, such questions are eventually quite easily deflected, often with a segue into a totally different topic, in the hope that the original question will be forgotten. For newbies, however, learning how to deal with such questions was truly a trial. So I had initially come up with a concept of dealing with the 20 most-often asked questions, and to use those questions to frame my story. Looking at the contents from that attempt, I must confess that a lot of water has flown under the bridge, and that some of the content is no longer timely, while other content can be distilled, re-animated, and used. What you will be reading here initially, then, are revisions of thoughts and ideas I had in the early part of this century.

Everyday conversation and transactions

Unharmful banter

But before I start on those stories and observations, I should perhaps give you a quick idea of what sort of comments I would run into, and the types of questions being asked (and sometimes to this day are still being asked, according to some friends). Being greeted in Thailand with the question or observation that “you’ve gotten fatter” or “That haircut really doesn’t suit you”, is normal, expected, not reacted upon. There is no immediate clamour for a law suit nor a devolution into verbal abuse, it is simply the way the culture operates. As a very good friend wrote to me, when “two interlocutors both understand the unharmful and joking aspects of banter and even more insulting-sounding words”, no offence is meant, nor taken. Mind you, as a foreigner, it takes quite some time to get used to this, and there are still elements of the language or culture that I would never dare to use or adopt.

A plethora of names, none human…

Dinner with Peach and Pear at Horse’s house

What is also something that many people have to get used to, including myself, is the use of nicknames in Thailand. Rarely can I remember the real name of a person (unfortunately and to my own detriment sometimes), but the widespread use of nicknames just means that you get to know people by those monikers; so instead of having to remember someone’s first name as Pattanapong, or Tappanawong, or similar such or even more difficult names, it is much easier to remember the nicknames; Noom, Gaew, etc. There is of course a cultural quirk here which might confuse people for a short while, and could potentially create a few quiet chuckles when you translate the names to their English equivalents. But as with the questions and observations, no malice is intended, and the culture is built on this form of communication. I make these notes and distinctions, because sometimes you might want to raise an eyebrow when someone is introduced to you as ‘Noom’, which in English roughly means ‘young, teen male’ and yet the person is definitely somewhere north of 40 years of age. There are other conversations that I have overheard which caused a lot of eyebrow movement, a look of concern when the first person was addressed, a quick clamping of the lips to prevent a peal of laughter, and a look of consternation at one or two of the other names. Here is one of those conversations that occurred not too long ago: “Good morning, Fatso, how is Elephant, your older brother? Did you two meet up with Frog on the weekend and go to Bear’s beach house? No, I met up with Watermelon, and we got together with Pear and Peach and went off to see a movie at Horse’s house before going off to dinner with Black and Pig.”

Awkward, but a necessary bridge that must be crossed daily.

Awkward Questions – Learn to live with it

Questions you would probably never dream of asking in North America include such tests as: “What’s your salary then?” And the question isn’t simply asked once, no, it is repeated at least one or two more times, but each time in slightly different fashion: “So your salary must be pretty high then, if you can afford to buy a new car?” “Isn’t that pretty expensive though, I mean, can you possibly afford something like that, or is your salary enough that you can pay for it quite easily?” Similarly, the question of age is not a taboo subject, as it is absolutely necessary in being able to peg you into a certain social position; a position of inferior or superior. Be prepared then, for the question : “How old are you?” or its variants: “What year were you born in?” and “So what animal sign were you born under?” The necessity here is to see whether you are older or younger. If you happen to be older, even if by a day or two, you are immediately elevated to ‘Pee’ status, or older brother or sister, which brings with it a certain level of respect, but also responsibilities to one’s more junior colleagues or friends – you end up paying the bill at any gathering, as you are older, and therefore must obviously have more money… If, on the other hand you are younger, you are accorded ‘Nong’ status. Be prepared to serve at the beck and call of your elders and superiors; of course, you get free meals out of the deal:).

As the stories proceed over the next months, I will undoubtedly come back to the theme of questions, as they are a rich source for tales, and also a sort of insight into the culture. If nothing else, you quickly learn to hold your tongue, smile, and give some answer that may or may not be near the relevant truth – alternative reality perhaps – and hope that with enough evasive techniques, your daily bank balance will not become the subject of coffee room gossip.